IESG Launches bold DARE initiative, enlists Nancy Reagan
Today, the Internet Engineering Steering Group (IESG) kicked off it's "DARE
to be congestion avoidant" campaign, encouraging kids, and network operators,
and even current users of datagrams to "just say no". Modeled after
the US's amazingly successful DARE anti-drug campaign, the IESG hopes to achieve
equal or even better results.
Washington DC. Nov. 21, 2003 (a parody; this is NOT a real report;
the IESG probably doesn't think it is funny either)
Predictions of the benefits of a Datagram free network neighborhood are
too numerous and stunning to be published in this humble summary. Suffice
it to say, you won't believe it's the same Internet!
The IESG's new Datagram Abuse Resistance Education program has enlisted
hundreds of participants to spread the good word about leaving behind the
use of the repugnant User Datagram Protocol. An IESG spokesman summarized
the viewpoint by saying "Haven't we evolved as a people to the point where
we can all agree that UDP is clearly detrimental and without any redeeming
Nancy Reagan is the honorary campaign spokeswoman. Nancy was overheard
saying, "UDP, I thought you said PCP?"
Stamp out legacy renegade protocols such as RADIUS, SNMP, RPC, RTP and their
blatant disregard for network congestion, the nations number two leading download
And don't leave a single emerging protocol behind. The IESG spokesman
continued, "The sinful tempation of unfettered data transmission may be too
great for those less informed. Ensure they all know the true evils of
ignoring congestion in our nation's fragile information ecosystem."
President Bush has not formed an official position, stating only "In general,
I'm in favor of less regulation fettering the consumption of any ecosystem,
not more, but I'll get back to you... Fettering is bad, right?"
-- Jeff Meyer reporting